My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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