Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
