I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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