Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
