Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
