READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
