dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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