i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
