Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
