Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
