the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
