did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
