Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
