so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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