are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
