Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
