I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
