I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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