she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
