I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She said her name was "party"
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize
