is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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