Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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