I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Houston, we have a blender
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
