we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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