Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
