What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
