google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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