What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
