He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
