She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
