Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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