I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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