He kissed a someone with a penis
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
