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everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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