it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
