Jerry, you need to find god
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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