Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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