wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
