I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
