I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
