He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
