My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
