Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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