ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
