Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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