i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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