U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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