i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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