One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
