just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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