Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
