We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
